We have had some seriously cold weather these past couple of weeks! We Zonies are not used to our high temps being in the 40's and 50's. I go into a frozen, coma-like state when I'm cold. I can't move, I'm sleepy, I'm grouchy, I think too much, and strange but true fact: My pinky finger on my left hand goes NUMB! That there is my indicator that I've had enough of this cold weather so I am super happy and excited for this beautiful, mid 70-degree weather on this MLK, three day weekend!
So like I mentioned before... I think too much when I'm frozen. Lots of good thoughts and lots of bad thoughts. Lot's of mixed up thoughts and lots of contradicting thoughts. It's all up in my head like a mush of scrambled eggs and marshmallow fluff. Gross right? So I've been going on and on about positive this and positive that.... I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now. I'm doing a little soul searching which brings me to numero uno...
1. Church: I'm not a super religious person. I have my beliefs (that are barely hanging on by a thread) but I'm trying to be better about it. I learned a lot from my cousin and her hubs while they were here over Christmas break. Made me rethink a whole lot of things about my life and the people that are in it. It also made me realize... that I need help. I need guidance. I need answers and if I can't get them, I need to be okay with that.
2. Family: I am a very sensitive person and I feel like the people that should treat me the best, are the ones that treat me the worst. To be clear, I'm not talking about my husband and kids here... they are amazing. And they should be enough. But I felt very lonely growing up and I've always felt the need to have lots of people around. I admit I've made a few bad choices in friends who I can happily say are not in my life anymore because it's easy to cut those ties... but what do you do with family? what do you do? what do you do? WHAT.DO.U.DO? I dunno. Not so easy to cut ties. See #1.Church.
3. Life: I put my life on hold to be a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom). Yes I did. I always knew I'd be a mom and I always knew that I would raise my own kids. Unfortunately, people try to pressure you to go work once your kids are in school full time. I fell into that pressure trap a little (okay I'm lying a LOT!) But I don't feel that pressure anymore. *BIG SMILE* I keep myself plenty busy. I may not make any moola but THIS, (being home with my children, cleaning my own home, gardening, laundry, cooking, errands, paying bills and keeping us on a budget), IS MY JOB. Sorry, I get a little defensive about the whole SAHM thing. I shouldn't have to 'splain myself but there are a lot ofIDIOTS, I mean, IGNORANT okay, one more time... there are a lot of JUDGMENTAL people out there. So now my hubs has started his own development company and is working from home. He can do his job from anywhere. Yup. You have no idea... how.bad.I.want.to.move.outta.state. Running away? Possibly. Once again, #1.Church: I need some guidance.
So like I mentioned before... I think too much when I'm frozen. Lots of good thoughts and lots of bad thoughts. Lot's of mixed up thoughts and lots of contradicting thoughts. It's all up in my head like a mush of scrambled eggs and marshmallow fluff. Gross right? So I've been going on and on about positive this and positive that.... I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now. I'm doing a little soul searching which brings me to numero uno...
1. Church: I'm not a super religious person. I have my beliefs (that are barely hanging on by a thread) but I'm trying to be better about it. I learned a lot from my cousin and her hubs while they were here over Christmas break. Made me rethink a whole lot of things about my life and the people that are in it. It also made me realize... that I need help. I need guidance. I need answers and if I can't get them, I need to be okay with that.
2. Family: I am a very sensitive person and I feel like the people that should treat me the best, are the ones that treat me the worst. To be clear, I'm not talking about my husband and kids here... they are amazing. And they should be enough. But I felt very lonely growing up and I've always felt the need to have lots of people around. I admit I've made a few bad choices in friends who I can happily say are not in my life anymore because it's easy to cut those ties... but what do you do with family? what do you do? what do you do? WHAT.DO.U.DO? I dunno. Not so easy to cut ties. See #1.Church.
3. Life: I put my life on hold to be a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom). Yes I did. I always knew I'd be a mom and I always knew that I would raise my own kids. Unfortunately, people try to pressure you to go work once your kids are in school full time. I fell into that pressure trap a little (okay I'm lying a LOT!) But I don't feel that pressure anymore. *BIG SMILE* I keep myself plenty busy. I may not make any moola but THIS, (being home with my children, cleaning my own home, gardening, laundry, cooking, errands, paying bills and keeping us on a budget), IS MY JOB. Sorry, I get a little defensive about the whole SAHM thing. I shouldn't have to 'splain myself but there are a lot of
One of the things we learned at Church last week is that you should allow yourself to be known. The GOOD. The Bad. The ugly..... I think I tip the scale a bit on the ugly. But this, I guess, filters out the people that could be a positive or negative influence in your life. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that.
What helps you keep the faith and keep moving forward when you're feeling down?
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